The diagnosis of this age. The heart song of grief.

We are a generation built from unconscious habit. Suffering comes because reason is lost to us. We are not aware why we watch television, use the internet, go to school, eat, celebrate holidays, breathe, live. We barely know the earth we walk on; therefore, our home appears to be some distant nonexistent place. We don’t know which culture is ours. We are the 7th and 8th generations of those who cast a curse. The curse is visible now, in addictions, essentially our trauma. We’re afraid because we don’t know what this world is. We barely know ourselves. We have broken relationships with humans, animals, plants, our food and our water. We do what we are told and we see not elders who are wise, but rather only know rebellion.

The Native American’s predicted this when James Paytiamo of the Acoma Pueblo recalled,

“I remember the old men of my village. These old, old men used to prophesy about the coming of the white man. They would go about tapping their canes on the adobe floor of the house and call to use children.

‘Listen! Listen The gray-eyed people are coming nearer and nearer. They are building an iron road. They are coming nearer every day. There will be a time when you mix with these people. That is when the Gray Eyes are going to get you to drink hot, black water, which you will drink whenever you eat. Then your teeth will become soft. They will get you to smoke at a young age, so that your eyes will run tears on windy days, and your eyesight will be poor. Your joints will crack when you want to move slowly and softly. You will sleep on soft beds and will not like to rise early. When you begin to wear heavy clothes and sleep under heavy covers, then you will grow lazy. Then there will be no more singing heard in the valleys as you walk. When you begin to eat with iron sticks, your tones will grow louder. You will speak louder and talk over your parents. You will grow disobedient. You will mix with those gray-eyed people, and you will learn their ways; you will break up your homes, and murder and steal.’

Such things have come true, and I have to compare my generation with the old generation. We are not as good as they were; we are not as healthy as they were. How did these old men know what was coming? That is what I would like to know.”

I am proof that the pure Native spirit is still here as I draw these wisdoms of the past to me. There is a calling, to return home. It is always there and it wants for us to heed such a call. To those of us who hear it, the call almost feels agonizing to respond to. How much easier it is to sleep and stay in these heavy clothes under our cushioning fat. How much more simple it is to not focus on what is here, but to focus on the existence of other worlds through screens and on pages. We no longer know how to take deeper meaning from our stories. We are neither high in the sky or low in the earth. We have no songs to sing together except for ones whose topic is to be numb at the party, focused on obtaining more be they cars, money, houses, bitches. We unite here because the base that drops takes us deeper than anything else ever could.

The holidays come and we take advantage of another day to not work. To try to be with our families and our religion, which, doesn’t really filll the void except for the first year we find it and use it as a salve. Soon after we’re in pain because even then, the living word and great spirit appears unattainable even in the religions where we are told we are forgiven and perfect just as we are. “Come just as you are.” We come for a few sessions and in between we still are not sure why we do not follow through with our promises, desires, simple tasks that we swear gives us joy.

I know that those who are marked are the ones with trauma. The ones with depression, anxiety, all disorders of the mind. Those who are physically marked with illness are different but given a similar task. We’ve been referring to this task but still we are unsure of what it really means… to be empowered.

To some, being empowered means activating discipline/self-control and using such a skill to obtain things both material and immaterial. To others, being empowered means standing up to those who oppress us and call us words we have deemed degrading. To others, being empowered means living with purpose.

As we come to grasp the idea of what it means to be empowered, let us considered for a second that to become empowered is simply to accept our freedom in our choices and at all times, be aware of such power behind those choices. Even here, upon discovery of such a beautiful gift and power, we must be careful not to do in the spiritual realm what our ancestors did in the physical realm and abuse such a gift. Power is lovely because it is realization of one’s control over their perception, actions, and life. But there is but more layers to it that many are discovering. One such layer is that we are not alone, acting as individuals… we are in fact connected to all that is and there is more than just us.

I seek to call upon the medicines in the world. Healing all those affected by unconscious habits that result in addiction… that result in mental chaos… that result in hell on earth. It is possible to go to the depths of such a place and return. In a sense, our cells know this journey and will relay the illusion to us through hallucination, dream land, or simply imagination. Who can stand firm in the burning fire pits and still raise their arms to a faith and mystery? I can. You can.

Wise is the layout of the world we exist in. As you seek to heal, take to the trees and the birds. They are calm and delightful. As you are in the process of changing and reversing the curse that is addiction, brokenness, trauma, etc, know that 8 generations from now, the people will reap the benefits. Act now for the present, for the future.


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